Though This Be Madness
by Tis the Fairy
Summary: An almost grown Alice prepares to enter her new life in fashionable society and finally cast off the mantle of childhood forever. Beginning to hear voices in her head however was not the best of starts by any means.
1. The Bristol Hum

******Though This Be Madness**

**__****Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise from the AIWL franchise. **

If by chance you ever happen to be ambling about Central London (in 1875 mind you), you may just find yourself outside Saint Agnes School for Girls. A stately institution renowned across the country for its faultless reputation and impressive record. Should you then, by an even stranger twist of events begin to walk through the large, iron wrought gates you would next be confronted by a set of sturdy and somewhat imposing oak doors. Had you gathered the courage to trespass further through the entrance (or were perhaps just up for a bit more of a walk), you might then stroll across the well maintained courtyard and past the grand foyer into the main building. If after that the stairs took your fancy it would take you to the first floor school rooms. A left turn down the echoing corridor later would place you directly in front of a door with a shiny brass panelling labelled _'1:2'. _And should you step through the door and into the room beyond you would almost certainly find yourself face to face with one Alice Liddell, for her seat was in the front row.

Alice was always made to sit in the front row; ever since it became clear the young girl had an obvious problem keeping her mind from straying away from where her body sat. Within the first day of enrolling in the prestigious boarding school it became common knowledge amongst the school mistresses that if they intended to get a single word of wisdom through to the idealistic child they would have to keep a very close eye on her. Six years later and Alice had not moved a single seat backwards throughout her schooling and her many teachers were dismayed in their failure to cure the poor girl of such an abysmal attention span.

That is not to say Alice had not improved over the years. She had managed to grow past a good deal of her childish principles, improved her temperament, become almost graceful and had eventually accepted the popularity of books with no pictures.

However in the eyes of her superiors and many of her peers hers was a head that still drifted a few too many feet above the accepted height. Still prone to the occasional mild daydream, she lagged a little behind the other young girls and rather struggled to get a foothold in world she would soon be thrust upon.

Whereas Alice still had to remind herself each morning to put her stockings on straight, the other young ladies appeared to have it all sorted out. Some naive girls (such as herself) might have believed when first entering the well known establishment at the tender age of eleven that they were sent there to receive a fine academic education so as to become the equals of their male counterparts. The other, more world savvy ones knew the truth. The ones that on their first day arriving to the school ran straight to the north facing windows to take a peek at the boy's school across the road and to see if they recognised any from the more exclusive parties they had attended. Or the ones that instinctively knew that during etiquette class when the teachers said _"To be presentable for society" _to replace that with _"To be presentable for your Husband and his guests"._

In many respects Alice felt very young and short-sighted compared to her schoolmates. For many girls the rest of their entire lives had already been plotted out for them and it extended no further than a few miles from that very classroom. After finishing their educations they would have learnt all that a young woman of class needed to know in this world. They would then find it simplicity itself to produce a match with a suitable young gentleman, most likely from St. James the Greater School for boys, whose gates where just mere yards away from those of St. Agnes'. Next the well matched pair would move into one of the many elegant townhouses in one of the nicer, neighbouring boroughs. And after a life stylishly lived then would they find peace in neat, tidy churchyard near to the family home, amongst others of similar status and had also passed on. They would have had everything promised to them since birth having never left the confines of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. The other girls didn't seem to have any problems breathing; in fact they looked as if they hardly thought of it at all. Then why did Alice feel as though she were suffocating at the very thought of her own future?

Increasingly Alice had been feeling out of sorts ever since returning from a Christmas spent at home with her family. It was now early spring and yet she still could not shake off the feelings from that evening her parents had sat her down for a talk. It had consisted of them reminding her of a number of things; that it was her last year of school, that her sister had married not long after her own graduation, of the benefits this brought their family and...Well many other things she would rather not think about.

With this in mind Alice turned her attentions back to her lesson, History- or was it English literature? Alice glanced at the book in front of her which was open on the chapter '_The Norman Conquest and the Battle of Hastings'. _History it was then.

Alice attempted valiantly to absorb some of the information being taught to her but it was quite the uphill struggle. Alice might have previously attributed this to the fact that she had a long history of absolute loathing towards the subject, from the early days of with her sister on some grassy knoll back home; To the current times of this insipid school room and the aged school mistress reciting various dates and names with little variation.

But Alice knew it something else these past few months. It began upon her return as a faint whistling noise in the back of her mind. Like the scream of wind passing by outside a near window. Except it came to her on the quietist of days when all was still and not even the slightest breeze lifted the leaves missed by the gardeners. It was a most peculiar thing indeed; like an eye floater in that the more she tried to focus on the sound the less distinguishable it became until the noise blurred into an almost silent hum.

Despite these small reprieves the sound had gradually grown in intensity to a sharper whisper-like din that she had at first accredited to her dorm mates. Until one night she had had enough and risen to enquire just what exactly was so important that it need be discussed at so late an hour, only to find all of the other three girls in her room deeply sleeping. The noise alone remained active in the dark night and Alice began to become afraid.

In the bright, cold morning that followed Alice saw things a little calmer and resolved to investigate this curiosity. Subsequent trips to the school nurse had sent her back to her dorm with a tall glass bottle of pills for migraines. Confident that her concerns were about to be lifted Alice took them as directed only to find that the sound was worse than ever when under the influence of the strong medicine and that as her mind got duller the sound got stronger. Her mind felt incredibly foggy and heavy but the underneath that a now forceful current of sound resided. Of course this was all reflected on a number of hours after her mind had cleared from the pills, there's no thinking of anything when your mind feels as though packed with glue.

And so it came to be that its presence in her mind became something that she had just learned to put up with and ignore best she could for the present time. After all it was truly amazing what people could adapt to given the time, she mused. She quietly hoped this would readily apply to whatever she might face once her time in school came to an end.

It had been her last scheduled lesson of the day and the very moment permission to leave was given Alice shot out the room in a manner that made many wonder how such energy could have been roused so quickly. Considering that her form just minutes previously, had been seen almost slumped over her table in a near comatose state.

Alice didn't quite know where she was going, but just knew that she needed to walk and walk rather quickly. It was far easier to keep one's mind away from unpleasant thoughts when simultaneously attempting to participate in study. Now that she had time left unoccupied she feared how these thoughts would twist and turn themselves into horrifying, but likely predictions of her own future state.

As her feet finally found themselves on the right route to the library Alice shook her head at such negativity. She ought to be productive during these last few months, who knew when she might next get the chance. She recalled the time immediately after her sister had returned from school all those years ago. All those hours of dress fittings, entire days spent in the town seeking new patterns and the most recent fashions. Preparing for the many balls and events that high society had to offer a young woman of her age and standing. One of which eventually led to that fatal introduction to that man. Her husband.

Alice had to suppress a small shudder at the thought. She still found it odd to think of her sister as a married woman. It shouldn't have been that strange, after all her sister was the very epitome of all things good and proper. The very idea of her not following convention was both strange and abhorrent. But Alice just could not get to grips with the fact that she was now no longer a Liddell. That she belonged to another family and that she was no longer there when Alice came home, but somewhere else with other people.

Alice hated passing by her empty room even now, years later. It was as if a ghost resided there; haunting her memories with someone that no longer existed. She had been straight laced, formal and a little thorny even before she became a Wife, but it had been different. She may have sighed and shook her head, but she always sat through whatever story or image happened to be passing through Alice's head. She might have been trying to concentrate on her daily flower arrangement but she could always spare a few for Alice's daisy chain.

Things were different now.

As Alice slipped through the doors leading to the library she couldn't help but admire the picture before her despite visiting countless times before. It was easily the grandest room in St. Agnes'. The wood panelled walls reached high to the slightly domed ceiling, which was off-white in colour giving the room a well aged feel to it. Vast windows stretched across the east facing wall streaming dust mote filled light on to the bookshelves bellow which were lined in neat rows like dominoes, but looked far too sturdy to ever actually topple over.

Alice made her way to the back of the room, towards the shelves holding the library's collection of fiction books. She had long since lost the ability to create such vivid tales of her own, no she relished in other's and relied on their imaginings to occupy her.

She had carefully placed her foot on the first rung of the rolling ladder when she heard the voices of two girls floating to her from a dark corner near the back of the library. The shelves concealed Alice nicely, not that she had any interest in being hidden. She was not one for school girl gossip and she had been taught how to behave properly, sneaking around listening to others conversations was one of the first things one is taught is unacceptable.

Nevertheless Alice wished to reach up to the top row of unread volumes and simply could not help overhearing. As she climbed higher she saw through a gap in the books the two girls sitting at a desk filled with books open at pages Alice suspected were chosen at random, merely giving the illusion of work. She recognised the pair from a few of her classes, as she recalled, they were renowned for both being masters at the art of note passing during their lessons. Rumour had it the two had especially learned Morse code solely for the purpose of discussing other girls' posture during classes.

Still, Alice maintained that this was indeed none of her business and she continued on her was upwards. That was, of course until Alice heard her own family name mentioned in the garble of the young girl's chat, after which Alice stopped her assent and narrowed in to their conversation with renewed interest.

"I received a letter from my Aunt in town this morning, just updating me on all of news I miss being here at school...everyone's well...my sister has a cold...and she attended a party held by the Liddell's last evening."

"Oh really, anything of interest? It's as dull as ditchwater around here; I'm contemplating switching sides to St James' if things don't pick up soon."

"I'll join you." The girl scanned her letter from behind an upturned book, "hmm, well nothing too important I'm afraid. Wait, it looks as if my cousin William might be married not before long."

"William? Which one is that, should I be weeping at the loss or pleased he's out of the way?"

"There's nothing objectionable about William." The first girl answered sounding slightly offended, "But then again there's nothing particularly striking either."

"Ah, I remember him. Well then who's the blushing bride to be? A twenty-something inching her way to spinsterhood I assume."

"Didn't I just say there was nothing wrong with him? No, you'll never guess, it's _Alice Liddell._"

"Blond wavy hair? Blue, really unfocused eyes?"

"Mm-hmm, that's the one. It looks as if her parents have begun talks with my aunt and uncle. It will be a good match; my cousin is already quite established. My uncle set him up with quite a bit of land a few years ago."

"Well good for Miss Alice; let us just hope she manages to stay awake for the ceremony. Between her natural daydreaming and your cousin's _wit_ she'll be lucky if she makes it halfway up the aisle before being distracted by something shiny."

"..."

As Alice heard the words uttered behind the wall of dusty tomes she remained perfectly still, her eyes widening in shock. Before she could even fully form any thoughts on what she had heard suddenly the whispering noise materialized, tenfold the volume of any previous incident. Alice clutched at her head trying to abate the sound drilling into her skull from the inside. It blared angrily in fast bursts of sound, as though a voice was screaming muffled words in her head.

Alice screwed up her eyes, shaking her head as it reached unbearable levels. She felt herself lose balance off the ladder, but had not the ability to process the sensation. She didn't feel any pain when her head made contact with the floor, though she felt it and her eyes opened momentarily.

The sensation of encroaching darkness was quite welcome, as all faded into black, noise and all.

.x

The light could be seen though Alice's eyelids and she squeezed them shut further in protest. She felt a soft mattress beneath her prone form and was quite comfortable. She had absolutely no desire to move, for she felt oddly well and her mind was still and peaceful.

It took her a moment to realize that the sound was gone and that she felt clearer headed than she had in a long time. She relished in the sensation a few moments before realising that she was not alone. Their voices were loud and obviously in very close proximity to her. Alice did not yet open her eyes as she tried to guess who her bedside visitors were.

"_You know she hit her head awfully hard on that floor following that tumble off the ladder. It makes you wonder why she didn't think to fall _upwards_ as opposed to _downwards_ instead. She would have fared much better if she had done so."_

"_Ah, but then dear fellow, she would have simply banged her head against the ceiling in any case and you know that's just as bad, I've been in that position myself."_

"_Hmm, in that case it would have probably of been better if she just hadn't fallen at all. You know and just floated above the floor instead."_

"_I did wonder myself why that hadn't occurred to her, perhaps she's gotten a bit simple with age."_

"_That's a shame if true, she wasn't all that sharp to begin with either if I recall correctly."_

Alice was utterly flummoxed. She couldn't think who she knew that could be so completely absurd and outright rude. There were two of them, both male and sound vaguely familiar, though she couldn't put a name to either. Curious and rather offended Alice's eyes snapped open to confront these strange men, wondering if she would indeed recognise remember them. From where though she couldn't say, she had never been to an insane asylum but she imagined this was the type of talk that went on there.

The sudden brightness momentarily blinded Alice and she blinked slowly building up a vision of the room. She was in the small clinic on one of the white painted mental framed beds. She lay on top of the starched bedspread in a bed facing the door to the nurse's office. But none of these things interested Alice, what did was the fact that she was completely alone in the room.

.x

_Author's notes: Woo! AIWL fic! I've always wanted to do one of these and here it is. Just a couple of side notes-_

_Alice is 17 in this story, if I didn't make that clear (and I'm very sure that I didn't). For my choice of school names 'St. James the Greater' is the patron saint of milliners (hatmakers!) amongst other things. Just a little titbit. St Agnes was a rather dull choice- patron St. of girls._

_Well I could go on with more _fascinating _morsels of info about how this story came to be but I won't so I'll stop. Now. _

_Second chapter may take time, goodness knows this one did. But reviews help immensely to speed up the process. Not to mention if you've got any questions you want answered (even I'm a tad confused reading the ch. back, but maybe it's just me. Or the fact that it's currently 3:43am)._

_Tell me what you thought, good, bad or ? Continue? I'll leave you alone now, I'm so sleepy. _


	2. Hatta and Haigha

Though This Be Madness

_Quick note- Thank you my lovely reviewers, you've made me one very happy author. As for those who read and didn't review-"_naughty"_, is everyone else incredibly excited about the new Alice film? I'm about to spontaneously combust here. Special thanks to _konata1keyblade1kunai, ObsessedChocoholic and James Birdsong_. You're a special kind you three. More 'fun facts' at the end of this chapter, well sort of. Actually not really come to think of it, they're neither fun nor particularly informative. Sorry. _

.x

Alice's head whipped around, scanning the tiny room for signs of the two men. Her sights lingered on the shadow laden corners of the room, underneath the beds surrounding her and even at the windowsill length curtains, as though the pair may be small and agile enough to crouch there.

She very quickly came to the conclusion that the only place they could possibly be was underneath her own bunk, the very thought of which sent a shiver racing down her spine.

"_I used to know a chap who lived under other peoples' beds."_

"_Is that so?"_

"_It is indeed."_

"_Well... is that all about the fellow?"_

"_Well that's all I knew about him. I only met him once and that's how he'd introduce himself, "Hullo, there! I dwell beneath the beds of others you know." And then he left."_

"_Oh, well he sounded like the pleasant sort."_

"_Yes I rather think so too."_

Alice eased herself up to kneel on the side of her bed, not daring to let her legs leave the edge of the bed, lest a hand reach out from bellow and snatch the limb.

Not taking her eyes from the edge of the mattress and the floor bellow Alice took in a deep breath to steady herself before she would finally lean over to peek at the darkness below. She had no idea what she would find there, but knew that she must confront the intruders soon.

Before giving herself time to think any further, she quickly ducked her head bellow the bed frame ready to find the strange men. Only to be shocked again with a sight that she had seen quite a bit of recently; nothing.

Leaping onto the floor Alice turned about the room, more desperate that ever to find the source of the nonsensical voices.

"Where are you? I know your there, I can hear you!" She called out into the emptiness, expecting them to materialise out from some unseen crook and reveal themselves.

"_You don't suppose she's talking to us do you?"_

"_I should think so; no-one else about is there? Otherwise she's just taking to an empty room."_

"_Well there's nothing wrong with that, I've had some of the best conversations while in a room with nothing but myself and an armchair."_

"_Yes, but you have to admit that armchair is an interesting sort of chap, never knew anyone who was so educated in mid-15__th__ century art forms before. What's he up to now days?"_

"_Oh, he said he was fed up with provincial life. Went to travel the world and 'find himself'"_

"'_Find himself'? I couldn't imagine losing him, he was at least 5 foot by 3 ½. Wingback you know, nice leather."_

"_Uh-huh, I told him the very same thing. But still he left, he was young and reckless and gloss oil varnished. No-one could have stopped him."_

Alice only half listened to their conversation, a moment's notice told her it was the talk of mad people. In any case it didn't matter what they said, not while she still didn't know _where _they were.

"Well? Out with you, I don't have all day you know!" It was becoming quite ridiculous, what these odd men lacked in sanity, they made up for in hiding prowess.

"_So you've finally deigned to address us have you? Well it's about time! We've been talking at you for months now, and that's not including the time added on once I realised my watch was running a week late."_

"_Yes, what has caused this change of heart, hmm? You've wasted a lot time my dear."_

"What are you talking about? I've certainly never heard either of you before; I'd think I'd recall meeting people so utterly mad! And for the last time- Where. Are. You!"

"_Gosh do you mean to say we've been wasting our time and that you've heard nothing of the situation? We assumed that you were just unimaginably rude. Well then I take back all those remarks I made about you that you didn't hear. Well most of them."_

"_Perhaps that fall did the trick? But who ever heard of a knock to the head improving one's hearing?"_

"_Well I have."_

"_So have I come to think of it."_

"Now look here! I've had just about enough of you idiocy, either come forward or leave. I haven't the patience to dealing with this charade much longer."

"_Well I'm afraid I just can't comply with either request, we're already as much _here _as we can get. And we can't leave, not 'til we've finished our errand"_

"_Yes, we can't fully cross over to the upper lands; we're not rabbits you know."_

Alice briefly wondered just exactly what rabbits had to do with anything, before dismissing it as another strange by-product of their madness and getting onto the more pressing issues they presented.

"'Here'? what do you mean by that? You're not here at all."

"_Well not physically, no. We couldn't possible fit up here."_

Suddenly it clicked. _They were in her head._

Alice began to hyperventilate. She wanted to scream in fear. She was having _delusions. _Like some raving lunatic in an asylum. And not just any delusions, she was imagining crazy people. For a person already insane enough to hear voices, to hear insane voices had to be very bad indeed.

"_Now, now don't worry Alice. You're no madder than the rest of us."_

This may have served to reassure or frighten Alice further, but she wasn't listening. All she could think of was what a dreadful state she was in. _It must have that horrid conversation, that's what triggered it. I've gone mad with grief over my predicament. _

Alice continued with this line of thought for some time, so much so that when she next took notice the voices in her head appeared to have forgotten about her completely and where in the midst of their own conversation.

"_...so I said to the Dormouse, "But you fell asleep on my crumpet! It's not my fault you're all covered in butter. You're just lucky I realised before I began spreading on the jam.""_

"_And then what?"_

"_Well by then he had been awake for more than 3 minutes, so he fell asleep again. This time on my scone." _

Alice sighed at such talk, to think that she conjured such moronic prattle.

Then Alice began to wonder about the voices themselves. _Why _would she summon such people to her, in didn't make one atom of sense. There were obviously two distinct characters, both as foolish as the other. Apart from that Alice couldn't tell who they were supposed to be at all.

"_My dear friend do you hear that? Why I quite believe that she doesn't recognise us!"_

"_Truly? Well that is odd indeed. Well you know I don't have my hat on right now, perhaps that's why...There! Alice do you remember now?"_

Alice hadn't a clue of what to make of this strange exchange, "I don't quite know what you mean; I assure you that we haven't met previously. You don't even have any corporal forms for goodness sake!"

"_Well I quite take offence to that! I'll have you know I'm one of the most corporal beings in my acquaintance." _

"_If you've forgotten you should just come out and say it. Even if it does show what a careless and selfish thing you are."_

Alice did think to become offended, before she realised that she would have just angered herself seeing as they were figments of her own imagination.

"_Now if you're quite done being ill-mannered I'll start up the introductions. I'm the March Hare and he's the Hatter."_

"_Are you quite sure? I could have sworn a moment ago _I _was the March Hare and _you_ were the Hatter."_

"_Now don't be foolish sir, see? You've got the hat, I've got the ears."_

"Well now I know I've never met you before! How could I forget such people?" Alice exclaimed.

"_Is that really so? In that case excuse us a moment, my friend and I must convene in private."_

Suddenly Alice felt a great _whoosh! _in her head as though a great wind had cleared by it. She could still hear the far off whispers of the pair, but it was as they were somehow _further _from her head than usual.

Eventually they returned and clearing his throat the Hatter began, _"So we take it from your answers that you recall nothing from your time in Wonderland? Nothing at all, no pompous white rabbits? Grinning Cheshire cats? Numerous _Queens_?" _The Hatter sped up his speech as he went on and Alice was exceedingly confused. But anyone would be when confronted with such a barrage of nonsense.

"No I do _not _recall anything of the sort, and why should I? What normal person would have memories containing such things?"

"_Well I'm afraid this makes it all very difficult to us, we couldn't possibly explain it all to you here. I had rather thought that the most difficult part of this task would be to make contact with you at all, never did I think your feeble ability to recall events would stand in the way!" _The March Hare ended piteously, giving a small, possibly mocking sniff.

"_We shall just have to work around it, now Alice don't you concern yourself with the matter for the moment. The March Hare and I have a few extra things to sort out now. We'll tell you when you're needed."_

Alice bristled at the statement. So the manifestations of her own madness saw fit to give _her _orders! And what's more it was given in that infuriating _'go along and play now' _tone she thought she had been done with. As though she, the only _real_ person in this situation was in the way.

Suddenly Alice heard a noise that wasn't issuing from her own head, the squeak of a door hinge. She turned around quickly, almost guiltily towards the entrance.

The school nurse bustled into the room carrying a stack of small boxes, which clinked as she moved. She had made her way to the small table next to the door, settling the glass bottle filled boxes down before noticing Alice standing in the centre of the room.

"Good heavens girl! What do think you're doing? You shouldn't be up and about with that head of yours."

Alice had just remembered that just a few hours ago, when she was voice-free, she had fallen backwards off a ladder. "Oh, right! Well it doesn't hurt at all you know and I think I'll manage fine on my own." She attempted to side-step the white clad woman and exit the room, she did not by any means want to stay in this place.

"Now stop right now, sit down while I have a look at you." She pushed Alice onto the nearest bed, where she sat primly on the edge, waiting to make her escape.

"Now you haven't had any odd symptoms have you? Dizziness, headache, sleepiness, anything at all?"

It didn't even occur to Alice to mention the Hatter and the March Hare. If anyone where to find out she'd be carted out of here and to god knows where.

"No, none at all." At this point Alice heard the faint clink of china that could not have come from the clinic. What were they up to now?

"_Why we're having tea of course, silly girl it's six o'clock!"_

"Are you certain Miss, that was quite the fall I hear." Alice had to concentrate to catch what the nurse had said, _someone_ was slurping their tea rather loudly in her head.

"Yes, I'm quite sure."

.x

_Author's notes- Hello! Once again it's the very early hours of the morning and I come bearing words! Not so many as last chapter, I do hope they don't get progressively smaller, who knows where we'd be in few chapters time?_

_Anyhoo, titbits ahoy! Almost none for this chapter, though I must say it is an absolute delight writing for the Hatter and Hare, they're so much fun. Please do tell me what you thought of them, not crazy enough, too crazy? Just the right boundaries of craziness on the craze'o meter?_

_If you're wondering why this chapter was so quickly done, well just look at the quality! Obviously compiled in seconds. That and well I needed to type some stray lines before they fell out of my head and before I knew it POOF there was a chapter fully formed. Athena in full glory! _

_Oh, and if you're wondering about the chapter titles, which you're not why would you be- The 1__st__ is a reference to that odd noise Alice hears. 'The Bristol Hum' is another name for a causeless humming sound some people hear. Look it up on Wikipedia if you've got time. And yes I learnt that from 'Have I Got News For You' who didn't? Or was it 'QI'? I can't quite remember now._

_2__nd__ was merely a reference to the names of the two people who were possibly the Hatter and Hare in 'Through the looking glass' as you were probably already aware. After all, you're smart people._

_If you thought the above was flattery to get you to review _you were right. _Well done, now get to it. Seriously people I need to know, I'm lost without your comments. Good, Bad, Shut up? Alright then. _


	3. Of Card Games and Binary Fission

Alice woke up the following morning as one does after a terrible dream in which some disaster or equally unfortunate circumstance had levelled your house to the ground. Following that the first few seconds of consciousness are filled with a giddy sort of relief and delight. Until you notice all of the rubble surrounding you.

Being rather a lot ruder than she would be to real people Alice ignored the good morning greetings of the two inhabitants within her head and closed her eyes again, willing them away with all her might.

But there they were, jabbering away without consequence and as usual very little sense. Alice would recoil a little as they talked and carried on their conversation, seemingly unaware of her. She felt as though every word they spoke would release a drop of some corrosive acid inside her mind, which would eat away at her brain and further speed along this insanity. There was obviously something rotting inside her brain to have caused these delusions and this scared Alice very much, for what could cure that? Alice had heard of the amputation of affected limbs and the like, but a diseased head? Alice really tried not to think of it anymore.

Which proved rather difficult as her thoughts spawned a rather gruesome and silly discussion between the Hatter and the Hare about people they knew who had been decapitated- _"Well I don't know why he was so shook up about it, I thought it had rather suited him and he had always complained that he was too tall." _Alice once again decided that the best course of action would be to ignore them and get on with her daily routine. If she was late to her lessons she could hardly give the true reason without being sectioned.

Alice couldn't help feeling rather dismayed, she had had such high hopes yesterday evening after leaving the clinic. She had forgone dinner that night and went straight to her empty dormitory to think and contemplate her next move. What exactly _is _one to do when finding out that they have gone mad? The Hatter and the March Hare had finally finished their tea and, for that moment had fallen oddly quiet. Alice wondered if this should make her glad or suspicious, before groaning quietly. _Now let's not have to add _paranoia _to the growing list of mental maladies, I've got quite enough to deal with right now as it is. _

She had tried to recall all that she could about mental illness, which as expected wasn't a lot. In books it would often strike after a thrilling revelation in the plot, which would confine the heroine to her bed for many months, wasting away in both body and mind. The story of the fallen woman would usually be resolved in her death.

While agonizing over her limited choices that frightful pair suddenly increased in volume. Quite kindly they informed her that they would be gone for a few hours, to run errands and other such things that weren't her business. And they were gone.

Hours passed and the room got dark while Alice lay on her bed. Eventually the other girls returned, but Alice couldn't hear them. All she could hear was silence.

Alice was a girl who liked to have things explained. She mulled over all she had experienced in the day and a number of explanations occurred to her. Perhaps the men had told the truth and had merely overrun during their tasks whatever they might be. This reasoning suggested that they could move elsewhere or at least that she was no longer aware of them and there was number of other unexplainable factors that made her head hurt to think about.

A second, more realistic and so much more appealing explanation would be that the effects of her fall had simply worn off. It was perfectly credible and Alice had managed to convince herself more by the minute as she turned the idea in her head. She remembered her uncle regaling her with the time he had come to after surgery while still drowsy from the chloroform. _He _had imagined all sorts of strange delusions, ranging from giant spiders to walking skeletons (although Alice had suspected at the time he had played it up a little for her amusement). Yet he seemed perfectly sane to her now.

As the night went on the silence prevailed. Only the soft breathing of her dorm mates could be heard and Alice fell asleep with a careful sort of optimism.

All of which had been dashed to the floor in with a simple _"Good morning Alice!"_

They were both far too enthusiastic and Alice felt a little jolt from their salutations. She uncovered her eyes and quickly looked around to see if the other girls had heard it, for surely it was loud enough, but they appeared blissfully unaware as they rose from their beds not looking her way.

She felt very lonely now. It was rare that Alice ever felt the need to seek companionship with her fellow boarders, but the frightening prospect of having to deal with this alone made her wish she had taken the pains to become friendly with them.

However it was doubtful that even if she were the very best of friends with these girls that she would be able to confide in them. They would run away screaming if they knew.

.x

There were some small reprieves during that morning from the constant chatter and clanging of china. They left as completely as they did the previous night, giving her time alone as she dressed to get ready for the day. Alice was very thankful for this small measure of privacy. Not just as she'd be livid at having to put up with two gentlemen (imaginary or otherwise) during such moments of privacy, but it also gave her a few all too brief moments with which she might fool herself into thinking they were gone for good. She could think mundane thoughts again, about her lessons, breakfast and all of the other details which previously might have bored her. They were precious now.

They returned as soon as she was decent and Alice had to wonder how they knew when to come._ "Oh, we just sent the Dormouse to check when it was safe to go back." _The Hatter informed her casually.

Alice was understandably outraged, to which the Hatter seemed confused by. _"No, no don't fret. It's common knowledge that dormice reproduce asexually, so it's really not inappropriate in the slightest. We wouldn't have sent him otherwise you know."_

"I've never heard such a stupid statement in all my life! Of course dormice aren't asexual, that's utterly ridiculous."

"_They're not? Dormouse! You lying scoundrel!" _

Alice was very confused about how to react to these figments of her over-stressed brain. They were quite contemptible characters, but surely interacting with them further could only do her harm. Alice was a rather pugnacious on many accounts and was never one to let any offence go no matter how small, but arguing with them seemed entirely counterproductive. There wasn't really anyone there after all.

And in any case, at that moment the Hatter and the Hare had moved onto a conversation, (from what Alice could gather) concerning who would win in a fight between the Jabberwock and a Bandersnatch. This was one topic for which Alice could safely say she had absolutely no opinion on.

.x

Breakfast was a tense affair for Alice. The other girls _seemed _oblivious to her, but surely it would only be a matter of time before they noticed something was amiss. After all she felt entirely changed, as though there were a brand upon her forehead that would warn others of the danger. Couldn't they tell how different she was?

Apparently not, but this didn't keep Alice from watching tersely as they passed by her, frightened that if they came to near they would _know._

Girls sat on either side of her, greeted her and otherwise acted completely normally. They discussed lessons, the upcoming spring term holiday and other girls. Not Alice though, as far as she could tell not one sidelong look or whisper had occurred concerning her. (This was more than she could say for poor Elizabeth Tanner, who according to general discussion was looking rather puffy today). Girls here were perceptive and above all slightly cruel and not prone to discretion. If they had something to say about her at least one would have let slip by now. Alice sighed in relief at her peers' lack of astuteness regarding mental health issues. However relief did not last long when two people were playing snap rather loudly between one's ears.

Her first lesson of the day was etiquette. St. Agnes prided itself on its strong emphasis on imparting to young girl's the habits of good society and the teachings of refined deportment. After all, a girl who could not fit seamlessly into high society was a girl not worth bothering about in the eyes of her family.

It was one of the subjects Alice had found rather challenging when she had first arrived. Although she had a certain innate gracefulness carried over from childhood; she recalled bounding over well-kept lawns with the agility of a young dancer as her sister sat surrounded by books, irritated at yet another spontaneous disruption. It didn't quite suit the still, stiff manners expected from a hostess from her well to do guests.

The large, airy room looked lovely bathed in the weak spring sunlight (Alice's favourite school room, which she believed almost made up for dire subject). Today it had half a dozen or so small round tables set around, each with floral display in the centre, some of which Alice recognised had been made in a previous lesson by the girls, her own had not been included. They also held an assortment of items for afternoon tea.

Soon the sounds of delicate china and silverware being carefully arranged filled the room. Spoons and forks were lined up with acute attention to detail, and napkins folded with the seriousness one rarely sees outside of a magistrate's court. It was unlikely that they themselves would ever have to set a table once they left school (although sometimes their teachers would threaten that should they fail they may would themselves as a serving girl, so perhaps they would). But it taught them how to accomplish a task with concern for all areas involved, and how a proper table spread should look any many other things Alice was sure although she couldn't quite fathom what. She had been to many, many afternoon teas in her lifetime, but couldn't remember anything about the angles of plate to napkin (she hated mathematics). All she recalled were those lovely cakes covered in icing sugar and cherry jam.

The looks of concentration on all of the girl's faces showed their utter commitment to getting their task right, but Alice felt as though she was required to commit more of her attention than any of the others. Even the girl two tables away who was on the verge of tears as she broke her second saucer.

But at least she didn't have to put up with the most distracting comments as she set her tea cups, handles angled the same way.

"_I do love tea, but you're pouring it all wrong you know."_

_I know how to pour a cup of tea thank you very much! _Alice mentally hissed at one of the madmen, the Hare this time and seconds later fumed at having been tricked into conversing with them.

"_No you don't, you're pouring from the end of the spout forwards, whereas you should try from the top of the spout side wards. Foolish girl." _The other added in the most condescending of tones. So a blithering idiot though _she _was foolish. Alice was beginning to get caught up in her anger as she almost moved tea pot away from the cup. Luckily she hadn't spilled a drop, for there wasn't tea in them, but water coloured a bright crimson red with dye. It one drop had made it out onto the starched, white tablecloth the incriminating dye would have spread out, letting all the world know her inattentive ways.

She sighed, trying to let go of her indignant feelings, something with she had never attempted before this mess and carefully continued her work. But they would not make it easier for her. They soon tired of pointing out her many peculiarities and went on to their own amusements. They claimed to be playing solitaire, together, curious. But it was not the game that Alice could remember playing herself. It instead appeared to be a strange amalgamation of snap, bridge and in the middle of the game as the Hatter was losing, 52 card pickup. However at some point something in the game had occurred to due which they both unexpectedly and exclaimed _"SOLITAIRE!". _Frightening the life out of Alice and causing her to jump and gasp loudly to the interest of her class.

What would have been unfortunate would be if Alice had been holding her tea pot at the time, which fortunately she wasn't. However the girl next to her was, and was so surprised by Alice's behaviour that she spilled a catastrophic amount of coloured water, to rather macabre effect. Justly a lot of covered Alice rather than the unfortunate girl and before anyone could say very much of anything she quickly excused herself and near ran out of the classroom.

.x

After the incident Alice was reasonably more determined to do something about this problem, simply ignoring it was clearly not working and she couldn't go her whole life startling at seeming random moments. Her best bet was the library she had reasoned. She knew nothing about these strange imaginings and perhaps that was her way forward. She could under no circumstances go to anyone else, no matter how knowledgeable on the subject, so books were her only option.

The library had a reasonable selection of medical books and still Alice could only find one that even vaguely claimed to hold the knowledge she was looking for. She began with a medical dictionary as she couldn't go about researching something she didn't know the name of. Hallucinations, that's really what they were she supposed. Flicking through the heavy tome she came to a stop and bent down to read the miniscule script.

_**hallucination**_

_A complex sensory perception that occurs without external stimulation, characterized by false or distorted perception of objects or events–eg, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, or sensations of touch, often accompanied by a __powerful sense of reality. See Hypnogenic, Hypnopompic, Olfactory__hallucination, Illusion, Schizophrenia._

Alice only understood about less than half of the short explanation and the half she did understand only seemed to be partially right. She could only hear them after all, not see, smell or feel them and certainly not taste them. And what was hypnopompic supposed to be?

"_I believe it's a variety of layered cake served after a light dinner course." _The Hatter supplied knowledgably. Alice shut the book in dismay at both her compression skills and the thought that a desert may be a factor in her insanity.

.x

_Author's notes- This is so late! It was meant to be posted last Sunday, where did the time go? I think I might have made up all of those late nights by sleeping in a week, terribly sorry. Go on, show me your anger (grrr) let it all out- in a review. _

_You reviewers are an astounding peoples, I'm over the moon that _almost _everyone who has this on alerts/favs also reviews. Keep it up dear, dear friends. _

_Did a tiny bit of research about Victorian etiquette for this chapter, but it's mostly from what I can remember from history class and countless school trips to the historical Victorian village. And all I can really recall from that was the ye olde sweet shop and gift shop at the entrance. _

_Not too much Hatter/hare-ness this time, and I do promise that this is going somewhere, although at snail's pace I'll admit. Chapter title is a reference to the Hatter and Hare's antics and Dormouse's supposed asexuality. When I can't think of chapter titles I just pick random stuff from the text. _

_Oh, and I saw the new Alice film yesterday. Maybe _James Birdsong _had a point, I was a little disappointed. Very, very pretty but that was about it. A few nice parts but not enough to make a film. I would still recommend seeing it for all the CGI wonderland goodness though, but you might as well forget that it's in 3D, I did watching it. _

_Well that enough from me, go and review. Tell me anything and I'll take it. I'm that sort of girl. _


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